The Lord is my Rock

As I sat down to write, I really didn’t know where to start.  God has really been taking me through a journey recently, one that has been hard and, at times, seems unbearable.

The Bible tells us that on this earth we will have trial and tribulations, but to take heart, for Christ has overcome the world (John 16:33).  As much as I knew this in my heart and fully trusted God to get me exactly where I needed to be, going through the process was and is painful.

This is where God has been teaching me the most.

While God asks us to take courage in knowing His outcome, part of me hoped this meant protection from pain.  However, the only thing it really guarantees is victory, with a promise that if we look to God, He will give us a great story that glorifies Him.  Imagine, Our story will glorify Him!

As painful as these last few weeks have seemed, I can’t help but be excited to see how God uses my story, little ole’ Amy.  And even though I am still in the middle of my story and my human eyes see no ending, I trust that me Leader will get me there.  So for now, I write you to say that if you’re in a time of tribulation, be comforted.  Know that God is organizing every detail, every moment, every day to create a beautiful story in your life, one that FULLY glorifies Him.  Although this earth will bring much pain, death, sickness, loss and heartache, know that God is moving in everything.  He loves you.  This BIG, AMAZING, OMNIPOTENT, POWERFUL God loves you.

When the waters rise
My hope is sure
When my world falls apart
I stand secure

When my way is dark
Your light breaks through
When i don’t feel you near
Your word is true

Jesus your love surrounds me
You’re holding my life
Holding my life

The Lord is my rock
And I won’t be afraid
I wont be afraid
You’re with me

Oh God you carry us
You rise above
You lift us up

“The Lord is my Rock”  ~Elevation Worship

She was Love

As you go through life there are many things that mold your character.  You would think character is mostly shaped in your childhood, as you learn right from wrong or the value of honesty.  But, in reality, your values and character are defined by the circumstances that push you to grow.  Through this, you realize traits you weren’t willing to sacrifice and hopefully grasp hold of a person who chases the image of Christ.

The last few weeks have been rather hard for me.  We’ve had a lot going on at work and my plate got really full, really quick.  I’ve noticed when working for a church, God tends to move in a form that creates an instant reality.  Maybe it’s because you have a mix of people that are right in line with the Spirit and pushing those who are struggling to become more.  Or maybe it’s because you’re trained to recognize the whispers from Christ pulling you back in line.  For me, the latter was the case.  

I’ve never been a prideful person, but the ugliest part of me crept up in the last few weeks.  The funny thing is I thought my reactions were completely justifiable.  It seems sometimes we make a claim that outside circumstances have created our state of being, but we hold no responsibility for our attitude playing any part.  What we don’t grasp hold of is that even if “outside circumstances” could validate our reaction in a “normal” situation, we’re followers of Christ and normal doesn’t apply to us.

So as I walked through this sudden awakening, I felt quite foolish.  I watched this pride consume my entire attitude and pretty soon I became Negative Nancy.  Luckily, God saves His children from their frailty.  He offers grace and new beginnings.  Through this process, however, it prompted several questions…

First of all, what would the world be like if love and humility poured out in every circumstance, despite the setbacks created? What if we viewed these setbacks as setUPS for a pouring out of blessings from God?  What if we lived our life in such a way that when we left this earth they would call us love?  LOVE…the very thing that Christ IS and asked us to be.

Imagine…Amy Kirkpatrick…she was love.  Wouldn’t that be such an honor?

A Little Bit of Encouragement

Wow, it’s 2009!  Can you believe it?  Even though it’s just January, I feel as though 2009 has been crazier than ever.  With the rush of all the extra events that take up our every free moment, or the questions/call from year-end statements, or even just the stress of a normal day; 2009 has already become many moments of pressure, frustration, but most of all God moving in big ways.  I recently had 2 amazing friends send me some great words of wisdom and encouragement that I want to share with you.  In moments of chaos it’s always nice to have something to help realign our thoughts to God.

 

This first one is simply about TAKING A BREATH

Whenever life interrupts your plans- whether it’s an unexpected caller, a long line a the grocery store, icy weather, or school closings on the day you hoped to finish a project or focus on something else- make a practice of saying this prayer: “Lord, my times are in your hands. Don’t let me be ruled by my schedule. Keep me flexible enough to hear Your voice whispering through my life’s interruptions.”

 

This second one is a prayer that most everyone has heard, the Prayer of Saint Francis.  When I received this, my friend had inserted my name at every point the prayer had the words “me” or “I.”  It was the most encouraging thing to read, so I encourage you to read this prayer often and to also insert your name wherever you see “me” or “I.” 

 

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

 

Have a beautiful week of Peace!!

Impressions

As most of you know, my Great-Grandmother passed away last Wednesday.  I sat by her side and held her hand as she took her last breath.  As she passed, I told her how much we all loved her and touched her face so that she felt me there.  Moments like these are always hard to get through, but in retrospect I am so grateful that God chose me to be the last voice she heard and the last kiss she felt.  Even more than that, I am grateful for the peace in knowing that she was going to be with the Lord.  It’s peace like this that allows me to focus on the blessings her life brought.  Even in the memories, I find much love, grace, and strength.  She was a woman who feared the Lord and she raised a family who was blessed by her love.  This sweet poem was read on her behalf at the funeral service and I wanted to share it with all of you.  It’s a good reminder of how our actions truly leave an impression on the people we pass in life.  The little things really do matter and I only pray that I can leave such a loving impression as my great-grandma, for she truly understood the idea of God’s love.  Have a beautiful week, my friends!

 

When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you hang my first picture on the refrigerator,
and I wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, 
I saw you feed a stray cat, and I thought
it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you make my favorite cake for me,
and I knew that little things are special things.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I heard you say a prayer, 
and I believed there was a God that I
could always talk to.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I felt you kiss me good night,
and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned
that sometimes things hurt,
but it’s all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw that you cared and I wanted to be
everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I looked….and now I want to say thanks
for all the things I saw,
when you thought I wasn’t looking.

Finding Lemonade

We’ve all heard the saying “if life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”  That’s not always an easy task, especially when the lemons turn out to be more like large melons, which aren’t typically a good ingredient for lemonade.

I’ve heard many stories lately of struggles, deaths, sickness, divorce and financial problems.  Satan is attacking and attacking hard, especially at the heart of God, His children.  So, this week, I wanted to send out a quick reminder of God’s Promise:

John 16:33

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”

Never forget that He has overcome the world.  So, whether life gives us lemons or even melons, we can trust that God can make us lemonade.  And at the end of the day, it’ll be a great story.

Have a beautiful week!

Praise God for struggles

Man, it’s been a crazy week.  Satan has been right at my heels all week and today was the domino effect of it all.  As I was sinking in all of my frustration, God prompted me to meet up with a friend.  It was a coffee date randomly planned earlier in the week, but God knew the day I was going to have.  His complete perfection gave me exactly what I needed, as always.  My friend and I sat in God’s presence and read the Bible.  I chose Galatians, but really, God chose that for me.  As I was closing up the chapter, this is what I read, “From now on let no one cause trouble for me, for I bear on my body the brand-marks of Jesus.  The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.”  Could that be any more perfect?  Well…

 

As I came back to work to finish the day, God had more planned.  I came across another friend in my very situation.  I was able to fully share with them what God had just laid on my heart.  That amazing moment that gave me such peace. So, not only did it change my outlook and my heart, but I got to share it with someone else.  It was amazing!  Man, if only we could always realize our purpose at all times, even within the struggle.  Imagine what God could do, how the world would change.  For now, I will praise God for his moments, because they change my life.  I’m refreshed, alive and loving God for blessing me with His Spirit!  What a day!

Something Around the Corner

It’s a rare moment when I am unable to articulate my emotions, but today is this moment, right now is this moment, this week is this moment.  I spent last night in a very weird state, an uncomfortable state.  The last three weeks have been wrapped in this love from Christ that was very surreal, so much that I feared losing it. 

 

And now?  I’ve lost it, which is why I’m in this state.  I felt as though Monday was the beginning, where no matter what happened I was frustrated.  You could’ve breathed by me and I would’ve told you that you breathed the wrong way.  A friend literally tried to make me laugh and I caught myself wanting to just tell him that I don’t want to laugh, I want to sit and soak up my frustration – so I can figure out how to get back to last week.  Who am I?  Seriously, who is this? 

 

So last night, it came over me again as I watched one of my dearest friends crying in frustration.  This was the 5^th person in my life in the past week that has been crying out for some sort of answer, relief, some sort of something.  I left dinner and on the way home my heart broke.  I heard God tell me to be very prayerful.  I heard God warn me of the spiritual warfare.  I heard God ask me to just cling to Him.  I prayed, and there I was, yet again, crying from this passion stirring in my soul.  What is God doing in me?  What is God showing me? 

 

All I know is that something big has to be around the corner.

In His Arms

Do you ever have those times where you’re just so in love with God and so close to Him that you almost fear losing the moment?

 

All week I have been feeling a stirring inside of me, the kind of stirring where you know God’s at work in your life.  You know He’s doing something great and your every moment throughout the day just feels alive, like He’s physically there by your side.  You’re filled with this passion for Christ and for what’s about to come. 

 

I had the same feeling right before I began working for LifeChurch.tv.  I would literally sit in my old office and ache with passion to be a part of His ministry.  And being the huge feeler I am, I would cry at the sound of LifeChurch.tv or any time someone asked me to detail their mission and vision. 

 

So where is God taking me now?  What is this burning inside of me?

 

For those of you who don’t know, I recently bought a house.  Man, let me just tell you that making that big of a financial decision was a little stressful.  The weird thing is that I haven’t been overwhelmed by the situation at all.  I’ve been rather comforted and honestly consumed by this new passion.  It feels as though I am bound to the very presence of God.  As though there’s a pathway that bypasses every distraction and forms this natural connection between me and Him.  And with that there’s a peace that covers every thought and consumes any heartache.  I’ve woken up every morning loving God.  I still feel the worry somewhere down in my soul, but it’s been overtaken by God’s love, promise and joy. 

 

It’s such a rare closeness that my every thought, every joy, every desire/heartache/love…my every moment has been spent in His arms.  Life has been so great that part of me starts to fear losing this closeness.  As I feel all of this passion and love, I can also feel Satan attacking the moment and creating doubt or causing distrust in the burning fire that God just gave me. 

 

So, here’s my question.  As I’ve so easily loved the Holy Spirit touching my soul, how is it that I can so easily question it?  How do we overcome our human frailty and sing God’s praises knowing that what fills our heart is truth?  When will I fully trust that when he wraps His arms around me, I can forever rest in that, His unconditional love?

Faith that Guarantees

A good friend told me the other night, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.”  I can’t seem to get this quote out of my head.  As I look back on the last year, it’s rather ironic to see the things I begged God for, as I sit here, a year later, quite frankly a little relieved He didn’t give them to me. 

 

Have you ever had that realization? 

 

It’s a very enlightening moment full of complete trust and faith in Him.  Faith that guarantees His perspective is all encompassing and His hopes for your life are so much more fulfilling than your own.  Rather soothing isn’t it?

Our One Constant

My days have been crazy the past few weeks, as I’m sure most of yours have as well.  It seems that in the midst of the chaos God is right there with this underlying peace.  His peace came in such amazing form during this time and I wanted to share my story with you all!

I went to see my great-grandmother the other day at the nursing home.  She’s 99 and it’s a rare day that she remembers any of our names.  But, this day was a good day!  Not good because she knew who I was, but good because of the moment.  I showed up briefly to say hi and to be on my way.  My dad was there and as always, asked me to play the piano.  I didn’t have any of my music with me and was very hesitant, but I knew how much it meant to him.  He found a hymnal for me and in my head I was thinking, “Yeah!  Not only do I get to sight read songs I’ve never played, but it’s a hymnal!” ha ha.  I played a few songs and the last song I played was “The Old Rugged Cross”.  As I started, I began to sing the words.  My allergies were acting up and my voice was hoarse, but shortly after I began I heard my great-grandmother start singing.  She sang every word of the song from memory, as I played it through 3 times.  When I finished, she said, “Now that was fun.”  My eyes started to water, because at the end of the day, even though she probably didn’t recognize me, she knew the words to this amazing song about Christ.  Even though her mind confuses her, her one constant was and is still God. 

 

After a moment, she looked at me and said, “I have been blessed with great children and I hope the good Lord lets me stay around longer, so that I can just be with them.” 

 

Isn’t it amazing the things the mind thinks of or remembers?  To be in that moment and to see the thoughts of a mind that constantly searches, yet seems to be so founded in that one thing.  Christ says he is not a God of confusion, but instead, gives our minds peace.  I was left in this moment, in awe, completely able to see Christ’s beauty, wonder and power.   It let me see a glimpse of everyone’s purpose in this world.  I think at times we have a tendency to discount people because of their old age or health issues, but God never does.  Every living person has a specific purpose in Christ.  My great-grandmother, even in the midst of her fragile state, only claimed God.  It was so inspiring for me.

 

I hope you all have an amazing week full of purpose!